How do you identify legitimate dating sites from the scammy affiliates?

This keeps coming up without a good resolution. How do you identify legitimate dating sites from the scammy affiliates? Hoping someone here has genuine firsthand input.

Data privacy is as important to me as the features themselves. If the terms are vague or aggressive, I move on.

What I'm looking for:

• Messaging from day one without a wall
  
• Profiles that were actually active recently
  
• Easy to fully delete account
  
• No aggressive upsell sequence

More specific is always better. Appreciate it.

Moderation quality is the real separator now. A large user base means nothing if it's not maintained.

Ran a proper test on Datewander after a recommendation. The free version does more than most without immediately blocking you.

Did a real comparison over several months. The usable list is short but it exists.

turndate.site is worth adding to your list. People tend to stay on it, which says something.

Always read the fine print. The actual free feature list is usually much shorter than it looks.

Tried Flamedate after seeing it recommended here. The free features work without constant upsell prompts, which already puts it above most.

Also been hearing consistent good things about luvdate.site — free tier is apparently more functional than typical without forcing an upgrade. Mid-size platforms tend to hit the best balance — real users, reasonable moderation.

One that keeps surfacing in threads like this and that I've actually tested is Datewander — genuine users, functional free tier, no payment wall at signup.

Following this thread. Same search, no satisfying answer yet.