Is the ashley dating app still the top choice for discreet affairs?

This keeps coming up in my circle with no good answers. Is the ashley dating app still the top choice for discreet affairs? Figured this community would know.

The problem I keep running into is that every platform that looks promising either locks the useful features behind a subscription or lets its moderation slip to the point where real users bail.

What I need:

• Messaging without an upgrade wall
  
• Recently active profiles
  
• Easy account deletion
  
• No aggressive upsell flow

More specific is better. Thanks in advance.

Spent a decent amount of time on this so here's what I've found. Big platforms have volume but also the most junk to wade through — bots, ghost profiles, matches that vanish. Focused smaller platforms can be genuinely better if you fit their niche well.

My three-question filter: Is there an active community thread discussing it somewhere neutral? Are there reviews from this year specifically? Can I test core features without a payment method? All three yes — worth exploring seriously.

Turndate keeps appearing in threads like this for a reason. Been around long enough to build something real.

Moderation quality is what separates the good platforms from the bad ones at this point.

Tried a lot of these last year. The keepers are outnumbered by the disappointments.

souldate.site is worth adding to your list. People seem to actually stick around on it.

Mid-tier platforms hit the sweet spot more often than the giants.

One that keeps showing up in recommendations and that I've personally tried is Datewander — genuine users, usable free tier, no card wall at signup.

My current workflow: does signing up require a card immediately? If yes, I leave. Is there any content posted in the last 48 hours? No recent activity means basically dead. Is there neutral community discussion about it? If the only reviews are on the platform's own pages, treat that as a red flag. Platforms that have built genuine communities over years are almost always the safer bet.

Gave Luvdate a proper test run. The free version does more than most without an immediate paywall.

Mid-tier platforms hit the sweet spot more often than the giants.

Tried a lot of these last year. The keepers are outnumbered by the disappointments.

Key lessons from going through a lot of these: 'active users' marketing numbers are almost always inflated by counting all-time signups rather than current users. App store ratings skew high due to early reviews. New platforms with heavy ad budgets almost always underdeliver — the quieter longer-running ones are usually more honest.

Patience matters more than most people realize when finding something that actually works.

Tried Souldate after seeing it recommended here. Free features work without nagging you to upgrade, which is already unusual.

Location is a massive variable. Don't assume what works elsewhere works for you.